Gentleman's Quarterly (better known as GQ) sex columnist Julieanne Smolinski has some definite ideas on how guys should approach the ladies online, especially since she's recently scored a Google+ account. In this month's GQ, Smolinski offers her boisterous opinions on how guys should and should not behave if they want to meet, "friend" or otherwise converse with the fairer sex on the Internet.
One Woman's Advice for Meeting Women Online
Her first and most startling piece of advice for guys is to only initiate conversation or friend requests, etc. if they have already met the lady in question, in the real world. As in face to face. Whoa.
She then goes on to admit that such a prerequisite is not always possible so then continues to add such gems as suggesting that guys not approach women online if they already have a wife or girlfriend, and then by not trying to write in overly familiarized terms, such as some guys do to try to sound casual. She says it is usually anything but and then moves on to more mundane suggestions such as that it might not kill a guy's chances if he were to simply act like a nice, normal, polite guy. Like she thinks guys would act in person.
Seems reasonable.
Other Possibilities for Meeting Women Online
Others feel that the best way to go about it, is to play like it's no big deal, or at least not what you're really after; which means, to manipulate them. I have a friend, John, who says he's met tons of women simply by starting a web blog. He joined one of those that is part of a community type deal and then just sees who else has a blog. Then, he reads random posts and if he finds whatever someone's written interesting, posts a comment down at the bottom about how it struck him; that's it, no come-ons or anything. He's careful, he says, to only post comments where it's obvious the writer is both female and has very few followers so his comments will surely be noticed. He says he finds every now and then one of them will post a comment back on his blog (if he posts regularly about reasonably interesting topics) and once that happens, he says, a connection is made. More posts ensue, or they don't. If they do, the relationship blossoms, if not, there's plenty of other blogs to visit.
Another, less blunt approach suggested by a female colleague on a website for aspiring novelists, is for men to simply join a website that offers something they enjoy, such as winetasting, reading or television critique; there they will likely find all sorts of women posting about whatever is relevant for the site, in a style that invites comment. Then post and comment till a connection is made.
The Bottom Line on Approaching Women Online
Regardless of approach, the day of simply sending anonymous text messages or sitting around in chat rooms, has passed; new technology and increased sophistication by women means that men who wish to meet women online, better come prepared with something to offer as well as something to say.
Sources
- "Don't Be the Worst: How to Approach a Girl on the Internet" GQ.com viewed July 18, 2011
Bob Yirka - Bob Yirka has written thousands of online articles and backs them up with a BS in Computer Science/MS in Information Systems Management.
